I need Charlie, too!

"Mama, too!!!!" Is the howl I have become used to hearing over the past month. Charlie has been asking for his tag blanket, then milk, then his Mama, too. I don't need to try and explain what this does for a mother's heart. There aren't words anyway. March 1st is drawing near. That means one thing.....PARTY! Well, maybe a little more than one. This year we decided Charlie would like to have a dinosaur party. He seems very excited, and I am constantly trying to help him understand what is getting ready to happen. While I was giving him a bath the other night I was telling him, "Charlie you know you are going to be two! Two years ago you were a little baby." Whoa, there I was, sitting on the tub one minute, and then wiping the tears the next. Two?! Time does fly, that is very true, but I'm thinking to myself how I have let it slip by. These past two years can't even be called a dream because never in all of my growing up girlish dreams did I ever see my life become what it is today. For two years I have been able to wake up to a sweet little chubby faced boy and see my own eyes looking back at me. The Lord has opened up doors for our family that I never thought would be possible. I can't help but think about when we found out he was coming. I questioned my health, his health, his birth, his growth. Would I be able to stay home with him? Would I be able to leave him to work if I had to? Everything came together to give me these two wonderful years. This past year has given us some great memories. Charlie's first sentences, his first big boy bed, his first ER visit (not many people know because his mom is a freak!), and so many sweet things I hope I never forget: closing the door of his room when he wakes up from his naps, singing with his face in the pillow while he is waking up in the morning, calling everything purple, loving the "dars" at night, singing "Big Green Tractor," holding my head in a bear trap with his legs when I try to clean out his nose, yelling "Apppppllllleeeee dddduuuuccee" from across the house, pushing me out of his room while he wrestles Daddy, singing with his song book in church, eating Reese Cups and throwing away the wrappers before I find them, laughing until he loses his breath with Daddy at Tom & Jerry, Charlie knows what mascara is and just how to sneak it on, poking me in the "goozle"when I least expect it, telling me he loves me, holding my hand in the car......and on and on and on. What a blessed year for this mama. This year is better than the complete emotional breakdown that I had when he turned one. My heart hurts to realize this stage of our lives is beginning to fade, but Charlie gives me something new everyday to smile and be thankful for. I want to hold onto him now and keep him just the way he is, but I love seeing him grow and learn. Tuesday will come, and no doubt I will need a cry off and on, but how could I allow myself to mourn on such a wonderful day? This year has been more than I could have expected. This year my baby became a little man. This year I've learned a lot. This year I'm glad that I have my "Charlie, too"

Happy 2 years darling. The world is lucky to have you.




As always, here is the only song that could ever say it all.

"I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand.
You felt so good in it; no bigger than a minute.
How it amazes me you're changin' with every blink.
Faster than a flower blooms, they grow up all too soon.

So let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give 'em hope, give them praise,
Give them love every day.
Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,
Let 'em sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.

I never felt so much in one little tender touch.
I live for those kisses, your prayers an' your wishes.
An' now you're teachin' me how only a child can see.
Tonight, while we're on our knees, all I ask is:

Please, let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give them praise,
Give them love every day.
Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,
Let 'em sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.

The so innocent, precious soul:
You turn around, an' it's time to let them go.

So let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give 'em praise,
Give them love every day.
Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,
Let them sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.

Let them be little."

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My Valentine

How do I feel about Valentine's Day? Wonderful of course. If you know me at all you'd know how ridiculously sappy and nostalgic I am. I've always loved it, even when I hated boys because they smelled. Over time though, I have started to look passed this commercialized holiday. A day all about love? What's greater?? I am planning on using this day to tell those that I love just how much they mean to me. I don't throw the word "love" at everyone I know. It's something earned, and not to be said lightly. That being said, I am thankful for "My Love." I am not someone who believes in fate. I believe in a divine plan. I am lucky that I found a best friend, and then made him marry me. Jamie and I didn't start out as most couples do. No one set us up. We never had an awkward first date. I never waited by the phone wondering if he would call. We were passed that before we even knew what was happening. We never had to learn the things we loved most about one another, or even the things that drove us crazy. We were friends-friends that fell in love. Looking back I can't believe how simple our love was. I can't help but think about the lines, "Some hearts they just get all the right breaks, some hearts have the stars on their side. Some hearts they just have it so easy, some hearts just get lucky sometimes" That was me. That was us. Did I deserve his friendship? Not really. Did I deserve his smile? Maybe not. Do I deserve the honorable man from a world full of spoiled and selfish boys? No. Do I deserve the tender heart that cuddles my babies and the serious look when they need to be taught right from wrong? Defiantly not. Do I deserve this man who carries his son into a church and sits beside me in prayer? Well, I can say I am sure thankful I have him. This Valentine's Day I don't want chocolate and I really can't keep flowers alive. All I want is time to stop and think, "Yeah, some hearts have it easy, and I thank the Lord it was mine."

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They Tell Their Stories.....

“I tell my story so that they might tell the next generation.” Sara Atzmon, Holocaust Survivor


Over the passed year I'd say, Jamie and I have become interested even more than usual about World War II history. I'm far from a history "buff," but I've always enjoyed learned and hearing about experiences. I've known a few veterans, and I can agree that they truly make up the "greatest generation."

Anyway...Jamie and I watched the HBO mini series, "The Pacific." I STRONGLY suggest you add this to your Netflix queue today! After the series ended I read the story of a man depicted in the film, E.B. Sledge. With the Old Breed, was written by himself after the war. Without details, I will say that this simple minded man wrote an extraordinary tale of bravery, pride, and dedication that my own generation has lost. I can't help but think about lines from his book so often. Now, as our world is in such chaos, I am able to think of Sledge, and common men just like him, who gave so much, and would have given more so that my boys can grow up in the safety of this nation. I loved this novel because he was just that.....a common man. He is an example of the true strength a human being can have when they are thrown into horrific circumstances. Although this novel found me crying more than once, I also found myself reaching for a highlighter every other page. Even now, I find myself rereading parts that I found inspiring. It is not for the faint at heart, but it IS for those who enjoy an honestly written biography.

After I read this book, which happened quickly, I moved to the Western Front. I picked up a book recommended by my sister. Sometimes these are books I love, but sometimes I wonder, "Why did she want to depress me?" Those Who Save Us, is a fiction novel about a German woman living in Germany during the Reich. She had a young daughter and did whatever it took to keep them alive. What made the book so appealing was that it was written from the research her daughter did. I became friends with the author online, and she recommended the book that I really wanted to share, Jack and Rochelle.

I can't tell you much, but this is a love story in the truest sense. No false romance or ridiculous situations. This is a hardcore story about two Jews from Poland who lived during the Russian and Nazi occupation. They were forced to live in the wilderness while fighting with the resistance groups. They fought not only for basic human rights, but to end avenge the deaths of those they loved, and to hold tight and protect the ones they still had. Oh my....it was wonderful. Hard to read at times, but I have to say, I am a better person for reading it. A daughter interviews her mother and father, and the story is told directly by Jack and Rochelle. No edits, just their stories.

Although all three of these novels are very different, they all left a huge impression on what it means to sacrifice for something you love and to forget about the things that don't matter in life. I struggle with this daily on a much smaller level. I've never been faced with enduring battle's dangers or leaving loved ones behind to protect others. These novels truly made me thankful for my freedoms and for the country I am able to enjoy. The petty things I let flood my life sometimes truly are nothing to the things this generation endured.

This isn't a typical post, but I've been wanting to share these with my friends for a while. I know in the next few months my reading time will be lost, so I wanted to make sure someone out there is carrying on :)

"Until the millennium arrives and countries cease trying to enslave others, it will be necessary to accept one's responsibilities and be willing to make sacrifices for one's country - as my comrades did. As the troops used to say, 'If the country is good enough to live in, it's good enough to fight for. With privilege goes responsibility.' "
— Eugene B. Sledge (With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa)

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